Weak for It

© 2003 Sandra Jean-Pierre

I can’t stand this…
I can’t stand the not knowing
can’t stand the not getting
what it is that you want from me…

cause every time I begin
to try and live my life
without your thoughts…
without thoughts of you
constantly interfering with
my vital rhythms, with my vital signs
with my peace of soul

I get stopped,
in my tracks
in my consciousness
gasping
I am gasping for air
asking myself, what was I thinking?
wondering
how could I have lived
these 27 years without you-
in my sights
in my pores
in my soul…

How could I have breathed
this clean air without your fragrance
coloring it shades and textures
I never learned in school?
how could I have
had the NERVE to leave my front door
without you on my breath?

With no place
to hide
or solace to abide me
you shift my world from beneath my feet
simply by thinking of my name

You make me want to
forsake my future children
and give my womb
as sacrifice to the alter
of your eyes…

Those eyes that reminisce of endless
pale, shifting
sand pools
at
dusk
noon
and sunrise

you’ve got this
intensity over me
that just won’t quit
and I am weak from it.

Me…
the woman of women
who carried civilization
on my back
using the navigation of
the new moon
crossed with
the sun on the far horizon…
I am weak from the power your
husky
down-low
whispers
have over me,

Like lemon & crushed spices
you marinate my core to the bone
…baby just turn me over and call me done!

I am crucified
by your nonchalance
and it makes me sick!
to be waiting like I do
anticipating like I do
for your nothingness-

Somebody
…somebody
get me a glass of water
a joint
a hit -
something to take away the sting of your
soft-touching me
like only you could -
got me playin’
symphonies
and I ain’t never picked up an instrument

Somebody
PLEASE-
stop me from falling
over the edge
from losing my mind
from falling any deeper
in this love than I need to be

Cause I can’t stand this
can’t stand the knowing that I
still
still
still can’t get over you…