I have started a cleansing of the soul this past Monday with a 40-day fast and prayer. This morning, I burnt your letter in front of my altar. I couldn't keep it, I couldn't send it back to you. I mixed its energy with Spirit.
For these forty days, I want my body to wake up to itself, to feel and experience pain, suffering and joy. I want to know the deep end of anger and discover its most fiery face. I want to break my hand into life's walls and lick the blood slowly going down my skin. I want to scream with a fury, with a voice I didn't know I had.
No more "I love yous" that stop half-way. I love you but....
I love you but...
I love you, mon cul!
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