Control

How do you think I make me feel?

When I throw myself at you like warm spaghetti clinging?
Only to slide down your wall of disapproval.

You think I don't know that there aren't enough plugs to fill the hole in my heart?
You think I can't feel that your kiss doesn't moisten a child's dry swollen eyes
or lips cracked while trying to get scream for her parent's attention?

Do you think I'm not reminded in every hug
that I can count on one hand every moment I've ever felt truly loved.

I slit my wrists and judge you for not knowing how to sew with no needles.
I jump off ledges knowing that the impact will probably kill us both.
I let you see me smile, laugh and dance like the Goddess invented percussion to the tune of my thighs

Knowing you won't be able to resist me.

I LET you objectify me
I LET you make me question my beliefs
I LET you make me
Over and over and over again
I LET you make me

Hoping that one day you won't rise to the occasion
and maybe, just maybe, I'll feel strong enough to walk away

Thank You

I wanna write you poetry
Beautiful shit that makes you want to slowly fall in love with me
Amazing words
That make you forget the flaws you originally found
Or at least learn to not mind

I want to write you songs
Love songs
Witty and sweet
About how we connect and what you mean to me

I want to write you stories
Profound tales that say everything that I can’t
That made you listen when I couldn’t
That made you remember this fragile piece of beauty that we have

You make my heart feel things my body isn’t ready for
I’m not blaming you, just letting you know you are responsible
For the smile I wear

every

single

day