Winter Over My Shoulder

© 2008 Sandra Jean-Pierre

we were supposed to be bound like
fresh cut
sugarcane stalks

in the bundle
of our lives -
intertwined
sweet,
reaching towards our sun

better
like how I wanted to be for you

under one roof
sharing one bed
meals of chicken parmigiana and sweet plantains
culinary fusions

straight dream transfusions
of Mamma, Momma and kiddie(s) make three (or four, more)
me for you
you for me

thinking back
to that imaginary time line
I can only think forward
to how many months
we would have been in connubial bliss

yet
I am this
side of changed
this side of coming to know
that I can love the wrong person

this side of wondering how much
I did and would have done
for your love

this side
of no longer catching feelings
of calculating decisions
of existing for reasons
other than love

my life
has never looked
the same
since you said "I love you"
faintly into the phone

I wish
even now
that you could
fade away as easily