Control

How do you think I make me feel?

When I throw myself at you like warm spaghetti clinging?
Only to slide down your wall of disapproval.

You think I don't know that there aren't enough plugs to fill the hole in my heart?
You think I can't feel that your kiss doesn't moisten a child's dry swollen eyes
or lips cracked while trying to get scream for her parent's attention?

Do you think I'm not reminded in every hug
that I can count on one hand every moment I've ever felt truly loved.

I slit my wrists and judge you for not knowing how to sew with no needles.
I jump off ledges knowing that the impact will probably kill us both.
I let you see me smile, laugh and dance like the Goddess invented percussion to the tune of my thighs

Knowing you won't be able to resist me.

I LET you objectify me
I LET you make me question my beliefs
I LET you make me
Over and over and over again
I LET you make me

Hoping that one day you won't rise to the occasion
and maybe, just maybe, I'll feel strong enough to walk away

Sacrifice - Another One from the Archives

(I tear every time I read this one...)

You ARE life...

I barely knew you
Yet I mourn your life
As if my own
were being taken
Instead of yours

I looked into my own eyes
And felt your essence
pulse in my veins

I loved you
As much as i love you
And you always knew the difference

Blessings and Love

This might not be good poetry
But it's honest

Grey - An Oldie but Goodie (I Think...)

When we first met, I thought you were the most beautiful shade of grey I had ever seen.
I mean, you were the perfect proportion of black to white
Of day to night
Of blind to sight
Of wrong to right

And I just wanted to be a single pixelation in your makeup
But little did I know how easily thrown off you would be
Before you threw off me
And made your retreat

See I saw you in color and you saw me as imperfect.
A reflex I had thought to help you grow out of
But despite my best efforts, the fight ended with me hurt
And you moving on

And now your grey is covered in shades of delicate pastels and hues
that turn me green cuz i was supposed to be that person
and you are trying to paint another me
And it hurts in a way that I never expected it to

She isn't supposed to have the same thing as I do
we transcended mere conversation
You were a part of me as I was in you
And none of those parts equaled a third

I needed you to need only me for certain things
I needed others to fall short every damn time
Cuz no one could see you in all that matter

besides me